July 16, 2003 - 1:23 a.m.
How does the old saying go? There are no stupid questions, just stupid people? I don't remember, and it doesn't matter because I have my own view, as of two days ago, and that is the questions aren't stupid, it's the timing. Some questoins that could seem really dumb most likely still have a context in which they would be usefull. And some that seem brilliant that said at the wrong time could be catastrophic. Thinking about when you ax before you ax could stop you from falling into an axhole.?
Examples:
(N=Not Stupid Time to answer, S= Stupid time to answer)
What do you mean by that?
N) not stupid when needing clarification.
S) definitely stupid if you already know what they mean by that and are just being an ass to get them flustered.
What are you doing here?
N) not stupid when asking a child why they are somewhere that they shouldn't be.
S) Very stupid to ask your husband when he walks into your bedroom as your lover is trying to not make any sounds in the closet, even if he didn't know before, now he does.
Do you take Visa?
N) not stupid when you are shopping for the first time in a store and have no cash on you.
S) Very stupid when the little girl you're trying to buy lemonade from starts crying and her father decks you for making her.
Does this make my ass look fat?
N) Not stupid when you own a donkey and are trying to spruce it up and detract from the fact that it was lazy and overweight, which is why you are trying to sell it, you gotta make sure before you trot it out in front of the poor farmer that needs an energetic donkey to till his feilds that your ass doesn't look fat or the farmer will just get a John deer Tractor.
S) There is no other time that the question can be asked that is not stupid. There is no other person that is not proclaimed stupid when either asking the question, or worse yet answering after being asked that question. Just walk away and buy a lemonade. With cash.
(I just thought of someting though, for someone who likes to live on the edge: If you are already going to a mental health facility, and someone asks you that question, try replying with "What do you mean by that?", then email me, I want to know what happens, if you confuse them enough to forget they asked, or if it causes them to attempt doing you bodily harm...)
Are you gonna eat that?
N) Good to ask when you see a friend with something in their grocery bag that you know they are seriously allergic to and they have been listening to alot of Sarah McLachlan(don't get me wrong, a beautiful voice, so much talent, and great writer, but too much of her would push a mega-bucks winner on exctasy to end it all), because three friends in three months would cause too many questions that would ruin everything you'd been planning, and that might make you insane, and would prove what the two friends had said about you when you were trying to divine the future by reading their entrails as they screamed, and you couldn't let that happen, now could you?
S) It would be very stupid to ask that after you had already givinyour favorite ho, Cindi(with an i, and a patch over the other) the fifty dollar bill and unzipped your fly, what else would she do with it?
Will you marry me?
N) Not stupid to ask when you have been courting the love of your life and there wasn't a doubt in your mind that they felt exactly the same way, and you have a nice ring and sappy proposal prepared that should make them giggle till you pretended to get all choked up with emotion when the moon sets behind the lighthouse to your left as you're kneeling in the sand, finally finding your voice again just in time to tell them that you had found and restored the long lost ring of their grandparents' that they'd dreamed of since age 3 would be the fullfilment of that relative's dying wish that they wear it and be as happy as the grandparents had been in their 80 years of blissfull marriage, because you know they will say yes even before they hear the violins that will play their favorite waltz to the tempo of the lightly lapping waves to your right.
S) It would be profoundly stupid to ask that question when Cindi was in the middle of answering your other stupid ass question, especially after her pimp had stopped you from eating that pastry with the nuts in it that you were allergic to, you couldn't repay such thoughfullness for your wellbeing by taking away one of his ho's and her revenue, you'd been friends with him way too long, besides, it seemed your friends were dropping like flies this year, you needed all you could get, and you didn't want to be married anyway, what with how Cindi's pimp was on his way home to catch his wife with that guy she'd been doing, you couldn't trust any ho, and its never good to make a decision when you are just about to reach your climax, better to shut up and listen to the sultry voice lamenting Adia.
Are you single?
N) Not stupid when you ask the new hottie at work before hitting on them.
S) Totally stupid when you're crammed in a closet hiding from their husband.
6:58 p.m. - November 21, 2003
11:55 p.m. - November 15, 2003
8:23 p.m. - November 15, 2003
3:38 a.m. - November 10, 2003
7:46 a.m. - October 27, 2003
