June 24, 2003 - 12:50 p.m.
Let's talk about the loops we find in our lives. Or, more accurately, I'll write about the loops in my life, and then I will read it twice in order to feel like I am getting my loopy message out amoungst the good people of the WWW.
After a few moments thought, I have decided that overall, and am one of those who would support an Anti-Loop campaigne. Though any campaigne such as that I would only support as long as they remained a passive organization. The unformed concept of facing off against an angry mob of Pro-Loopers doesn't sound like it could end well.
I'll list a few loops that people might have heard of, and how they have have harmed either specific people, idea's, group's, and I will probably end up making up a few horrible little loop villifying incidents, just to nail home my point.
The funny delivery of a loop horror story fooled me for a while, and it's easily understood when the Comedian who delivered the line is Jennifer Saunders, or Eddina Monsoon from the british show Absolutely Fabulous. Jennifer also writes for the show, ahving been one of it's creators, and she is used to getting a laugh out of taboo subjects and seemingly mundane actions. But upon looking closer at the story she tells, you find that she is actually reaching out for help, deeply troubled as she continues to be due to her weight problem. She is finally getting her point accross, but sadly, she gets a laugh when regailing her daughter about the Chinese restaurant that kept refilling her table's lazy susan with food as soon as she ate something off of it. "I was stuck in an eating Loop!" She cries, but it's too late, the loop gets away with enabling her eating disorder, while managing to get a chuckle in the process.
Loops haunted Eugene Levy's character in the movie Best In Show, once again taking advantage of a persons physical handicap. Levy's character tells the camera how, as a child growing up with two left feet, he had been called the vile name "Loopy", calling attention to his tendency to walk in circles. How mean fictional children can be with their name calling, and how readily a loop was found to help them in their cruel games.
And how can they(children, fictional or otherwise) be expected not to know about loops, when cereal companies fill their heads with advertising campaignes promoting the double whammy of a badly named cereal, Fruit Loops. Not only does this product name constantly remind children of the existence of loops, but it also connects it to homophobic stereotypes when coupling it with Fruit. Don't you see? So young, and they are being subliminally told that Fruit/Homosexuality goes hand in hand with Loops/Insanity. On the whole it's a falsehood, and personally I'd rather not have it being called attention too like that.
It seems that someone out there wants to keep loops out there and socially acceptable, using witty sayings and propaganda to further their evil cause. "I'm so much better and faster then you, I can run Loops around you!" Loops being used to support feelings of superiority. "What, you handn't heard the latest? You must be out of the Loop..." loops being used to differentiate between who's "In", and who's "Out". Bah!!!!!, disgusting use of an evil concept.
The US government was on the right track when it outlawed hanging poeple. For thousands of year, nooses had been the cause of millions of deaths. What I hope the government will soon realize is that the Noose left when it was outlawed, but all it did was get a makeover, change it's name, and cross back over the border, there in being revieled the vile origins of the Loop.
But worst of all, and this is actually what got me going on the whole Anti-Loop movement half an hour ago, is how I was caught unsuspecting by a loop, and how it held me captive for hours this morning. Others may be too embarrased to publicly announce when it happens to them, which it does daily to thousands, but I will not remain silent any longer.
This morning, after sitting at my computer, I signed into manhunt, as thousands of guys do in their own homes and at work. I finished replying to those that will eventually take turns acting as my magic wand sheeth for use in my magic show. but after conscieusly acknowledging that I didn't have any more emails to send or people to chat with, I missed the last opportunity for escape. Somehow the pages of member profiles currently online got my attention. I hesitently began to scroll down to see more. And from there on in I was trapped. For when one page's bottom was reached, the Next Page botton, so expertly positioned, brought me to the top of a whole new page of profiles to scroll through. But it didn't stop there, though in a better world it might have. No, it didn't end, for when I had perused the hundred of online profiles, I refreshed the pages and started anew, hoping to see just one new profile, or perhaps receive an email while I scrolled. And so it went on and on, for I was caught in the dreaded Manhunt Loop, that can trap its unsuspecting prey for days before they are aware they have been ensnared.
Somehow, after hours and hours of repetition and the same scarey photographs, I managed to duck out through the bathroom.
I then flipped the wall switch that until today I had always cursed for being connected to the wall socket that my computer is plugged into. And I felt a great wave of relief as my computer told me that I hadn't shut it down properly, and I told it it wouldn't happen again, as long as Manhunt didn't start up after the reboot.
Luckily it didn't, and I have since been writing this Anti-Loop pamphlete and mini-smear campaign in one. But now I have finished the tale, and I wonder if signing in to check my email would be such a Bad thing...
*running round in circles baby, you got me running round in circles, running round in circles....* and the track loops back onto itself....
6:58 p.m. - November 21, 2003
11:55 p.m. - November 15, 2003
8:23 p.m. - November 15, 2003
3:38 a.m. - November 10, 2003
7:46 a.m. - October 27, 2003
