Enderland

May 14, 2003 - 12:48 p.m.

Dear people I have let out of their cages in the dungeon,

Apparently I have been using the wrong measuring system for all my recipes.

The following table I send to you in the hopes that it will help you to more easily convert recipes while not sacrificing such things as: quality, taste, texture, sweat, emotion, newborn children on the alters of the Christian "Faith", the virginity of boys to priests of same, the enjoyment to be gotten out of victimizing anyone weak enough not know how to fight back, as well as the arousal I can get out of being in control of another person.

And if you can't read, then to you I offer, from my heart: Nah Nah fucking Nah Nah a boo boo, you fucking suck, and I hope you die, sputtering out with your final gasping breaths curses to the gods that they hadn't done enough miaculous things to counter your fatally disasterous illiteracy.

...now... eat this...yeah, thats the idea... take it all the way down... deep throat it like you learned from your father and his brothers... and I had better not feel any teeth, or my belt will redden your ass...

With all the fake love I can imply while wearing this leather mask,

I remain,

now and forever,

Your Master!

(but you call me Sir, bitch)

Relative Measurements:

1 bit= 2 pinches= 1 slap accross the face= 1 flirtatious encounter

1 smidgen= 4 bits= 1 punch in the stomach= 1 hot suggestion

1 dollop= 2 smidgens= 1 kick to the knee= 1 person I hope I get to meet

1 gaggle= 3 dollops= 1 knee to the groin= 2 minute warning before I cum

1 gaggle= 2 glugs= 3 nights ago= 4 swallowed annonymous loads

1 blanket= 2 glugs= 4 lays before washing= 1 cherished possesion