February 09, 2003 - 4:35 a.m.
Just a week away from that day that started it all going for me, and has lead to my fathers' constant disgruntlement since: My Birthday.
Through my adventures I have oft looked back on this day that I don't remember and count myself lucky, since my life eventually became a blast, not counting that horrid process called childhood. It is tons of fun to be me, and I am finding new and improved ways to be me all the time, usually in very messy ways that splatter and stain good carpets.
Although I haven't had the stomach to venture forth into Boston's ever-stagnating club scene, I think I want to go to Avalon for the 14th, so I can be dancing when it strikes midnight and my birthday begins.
I have been listening on friday nights to 93.7, since they have been broadcasting from Avalon(or Avaland I think it is called that night), and I have liked everything I have heard so far, really good DJ's. I think I may not only brave the club scene, but the staright club scene as well. Spooky. I predict a good time had by all accompanying, at present count I think 8 besides myself, as well as I am sure the several employees I know, and countless Scene Whores who will offer the appropriate fake kiss on the cheek while mantaining that dull glazed over stare fixed firmly on their faces by the facade and chemicals. Not saying I wont be at least semi-enhanced for the occaision mind you, I just hope the sincerety with which I try to communicate never gets mistaken for the depthless club-gossip and niceties usually exchanged.
My old roomate has been making a special effort to prepare his fine dwelling for a special cameo by the Lilac Club, bringing it out of semi-retirement. I really am lucky to have the friends that I do.I expect the after party to last till sometime sunday, besides possibly trying out a new club I have recently heard of called Echo. I'll update this if it turns out to be at all interesting.
ON to other things of a not so uplifting nature. Work.
I am that places bitch, hour wise and odd job wise. And as I have stated before, I don't mind, if only it were consistent in either direction. I wish there was someone I could take it out on or confront about it, but it's no ones fault, the market just sucks and their counting their hours closely. For now, I have 40 plus a week, but only for another week. If I do indeed get cut down to 30 or less hours, I will be getting a second job.
This week I jokingly suggested after everyone I am replacing comes back that I could waiter. My experiance in this area, plus references do well to show my ability. I have so much fun, and though I don't usually say anything so forward, I can state I am one damn good waiter, from speed and carrying things to interacting well with people and remmebering whats going where.
I expected a reaction from laughter to possibly being ignored outright. What I got was flatout denial and a little anger. All three chef's who were close enough to hear my offer scowled and said they would never do it, for reasons such as not having me available for every shift that I wouldn't be working, just in case, but if I waitered I couldn't be on call.
Fuck that. If I am cut back in hours, I will be working somewhere else as well just to make enough money to live, so I will thusly be unavailable to them. There is some internal politics going on here that I could probably understand if I investigated, but am just going to leave alone for now, it'll just raise resentment if I snoop or meddle. I hope Scooby forgives me.
Tis' a pitty, the waitpersons there make an absolute killing.
I think this week I'll jokingly suggest I'll only be molified if they hire a cute guy to waiter soon, preferably one who likes to play on the same side of the fence as I myself.
Right.
Not.
Other than that the job is very enjoyable, and I am being trained in every area and level, shining as I do in each. My particular brand of chaotic good luck when I first put my hand to something that makes it appear I have the apptitude for it like I was born with the talent. Little do they know, my beginners luck is great in the start, but is hard to maintain. After a sprint ahead out of the gates, I have to work intensely hard to keep up the same lead, since actually thinking about what I am doing usually causes me to make mistakes or to slow down. somehow I am managing, and enjoying the experiance.
Well, enough of that.
Something new, I had amazing dreams last night.
As most of mine start so did this dream. A journey through throngs of unkown minds, catching glimpses of imagined lives and experiances. But of a sudden my forward movement slowed and ceased.
I Found myslef in a dorm with and amazing young collegiate, knowing that we had just been thrown in together to share the room for the year. In a blur I remember better than I rightly should, the entire year passed for me. A year in which this roomate became more than that, getting to the point where he instilled such a sense of peace and well-being I never wanted it to end. I remeber so many things from that dreamed year, it's quite impossible, really, all the classes I remember writing reports for and the few I slept through.
But the end of the year came and the building became a frenzy as the multitudes tried to set world records to escape. Till just my roomate and I remained, and as we shared a look of camraderie to the uber level, I hugged him, even then knowing how close I was to waking, telling him so, and as I gradually became periferally aware of my bedroom, I clung to the dream just to memorize that feeling. Belonging, more then exceptence, maybe approval, loyalty, and those too often labeled unjustly for effect words: unconditional love.
I hope either he finds me wandering in my dreams again, or materializes and seeks me out. But even if he doesn't, the memory is strong enough to keep me going.
Wow, that was sappy. Try being in my head, one minute blood and pain and horror, the next Shakespearean love and devotion played out in disney colors and happy endings.
The nausea wears off after about ten minuts, don't worry, I have gone through this millions of times.
I'll let you rest your heads a little and your stomachs can produce bile to replace that which is no doubt now covering your keyboard. Clean it up quick before it dries...
6:58 p.m. - November 21, 2003
11:55 p.m. - November 15, 2003
8:23 p.m. - November 15, 2003
3:38 a.m. - November 10, 2003
7:46 a.m. - October 27, 2003
