2003-01-21 - 5:08 a.m.
Finally I get this accomplished. Let me start by announcing that I can't spell. My biggest dream has always been to be a writer, followed second(very closely) by a dream of waking up one day able to spell. My third dream is hardly appropriate at this juncture, so I wont bore you with the details. So to sum up: I can't spell.
Being the fledgling Blogger that I am(did I use that right?), my planned use for this journal remains somewhat nebulous. Something like quick blurbs about the days events for friends and people who happen to get sent here through some twist of the netverse link looping back in on itself. Occaisionally some of my short stories may appear for some criticism from all you good literate folk. And of course updates regarding the state of my book.
I'll chat about that for just a moment, my book, and my first at that. As I said I have wanted to be a writer since I can remember(at least july), probably age 4. I have read literally thousands of books, and the older I get the more I want to write still, but for different reasons.
If you read someones work, you invariably are getting to know that person, despite the genre. Your beleifs, prejudices, and life experiences make their way into whatever you write, fiction-wise.
This having been typed and read by you, I think you may be able to understand why I want to write and be read now. I want people to pick up my book or short story and read me, therefore in my mind getting to know me. Not in some misguided need for friends or something like that. My life has been a crazy rollercoaster on an acid trip after watching the nightmare on elm st.'s backwards. Somehow I survived. And far from my mind is the thought of telling others on how to survive their own journeys. But if you read something I write, you'll see that there is someone else out there like you, whose been through it, or something like it. I'll try to relay best as I can the flukes that lead me to the present, usually in a humorous tone, even when the subject matter could be seen as course or to touchy.
And just putting that out here for someone to read I think is the beginning of helpfulness. The most pain I hae seen in my existence was caused by people who had knowledge that others didn't, hence keeping them either subserviant or introverted and unable to defend themselves.
But I think about how easy it is to find info presently on the web, and I think that by having ways to get that knowledge could prevent some from having to live through the pain of abuse or neglect.
I know, sounds gloomy at the outset, but I felt you should know. The people running around inside my head having the adventures I write about are more then just fragments of past friends and such. They are each possibility itself, the what ifs from the back of my memory: what if a girl managed to escape from a life of sexual abuse from relatives, and helped others?what if the suicide of another was averted, leading to the mental illness's eventual treatment?what if the third generation Army man didn't continue the cycle, and was just as in touch with his femine side as was the mother of his family?
Each possibility leads to a myriad others, and so on. But the earlier you have knowledge, say of how others have delt with the same circumstances, or your options for escape or growth leading to freedom, the more control you have of your own future, and the less likely to be abused by others.
At least thats what was in my fortune cookie this morning.
Who knows, maybe I am a bigger quack then even I admit to myself in my laughter and voice filled skull. View it how you will, as someones narcisistic need to have his writing read and be talked about, or as a guy telling a story because he needs too.
Ok, let me think a second, just relax yourself. Do you think I rambled a bit there? I do, but thats to be expected from me, and if you have some aversion to something thinking on the page in front of you, I would suggest planting a sub-conscious aversion in yourself so you can avoid my site.
But, on the other side of the dablune, should the reading of my spilled thought process amuse you, please, by all means, pull up a pillow, watch how the spill flows. Bounty wont work, by the way, its been tried. And for imagined dieties sakes poeple, put on a wrist gaurd or something to avoid carpletunnel syndrome(however one spells that).
I will write more in a few minutes, I just want to see how this is presented, since I haven't seen anyone elses.
*walks out the dimly lit doorway into the hall leading to the basement, shouting back a last minute "I'll be right back" to those left in the room, all of whome hope he forgets the way back...*
6:58 p.m. - November 21, 2003
11:55 p.m. - November 15, 2003
8:23 p.m. - November 15, 2003
3:38 a.m. - November 10, 2003
7:46 a.m. - October 27, 2003
